Tuesday 10 December 2013

Gobsmacked by Technology

I am pretty techno savvy. I understand computers and make use of the internet for many different parts of life. But what is possible sometimes takes my breath away. 

This afternoon, as I was musing about my forthcoming flight, I wondered where the aircraft I had recently seen flying overhead was headed. I then discovered  flight radar.  
On this website is a map covering as much of the UK as I wanted with little planes positioned exactly where they are in the sky. Moving the mouse over any of the small planes gave me a number - I thought it might have been a flight number but it is a call sign. I have yet to discover how to find the flight number from the call sign but when I do I will be able to see how close to home is the flight I am waiting for!

May I never lose the sense of wonder at what human ingenuity can achieve. 

Image courtesy of  meepoohfoto  /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Friday 15 November 2013

Jesus the answer or the question?

"So much of the Christian witness is built on a flawed premise. Jesus isn't the answer; He is the Question that disturbs our neat systems of control and challenges our priorities and perceptions. His life, death and resurrection challenge us to revisit our lives and re-examine our perceived self-righteousness and omni-competence. Jesus is the Question that God asks of each us us and our existence. Why and what for. Begone so much of that glibness that masquerades as Christian witness"   

- Stuart B Jennings - posted as a facebook status update 

Photo - by me ...

Sunday 10 November 2013

Martin Luther and alcohol to spite the devil


Martin Luther wasn't a teetotaller obviously....

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.” - Martin Luther

Images courtesy of  bandrat and stockimages  /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Monday 4 November 2013

Crime and Punishment

Last week I saw the stage production of Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment" - a collaboration between the Citizens theatre, Glasgow, The Lyceum, Edinburgh and the Playhouse, Liverpool. It was a stark and stimulating production, dark and deep, packed full of psychological and philosophical dilemmas. 
The plot tells of an impoverished drop out Law Student who decides that he could benefit the world by murdering a hated money lender and redistributing her money to do good works. This is the crime that takes place graphically very early in the play, the remainder being the protagonist Rodian (Rodya) Raskolnikov reflecting on his action and the consequences as he interacts with his circle of St Petersburg life. The internal turmoil and struggle of Rodya that make up much of the book are effectively performed as soliloquies in this production. Rodya has a duel personality - he is cold, apathetic and antisocial - almost a socio-path but he can also be compassionate and warm.
The major themes explored are poverty and self sacrifice. Dostoevsky explores the following "isms" in the narrative - utilitarianism, nihilism, socialism, and atheism. The questions that arose for me were on the nature of morality. Why be moral if the world is nothing more than a random collection of molecules with no God or purpose? Do ends ever justify the means? Should laws apply to everyone equally or do some have special provisions? Here I saw an echo of Nietzsche's idea of superman as Rodya compared himself to Napoleon. 
Sonya, the young woman who sacrificed herself to prostitution to support her family is the most moral person in the story. Her virtues and qualities make her seem Christlike. Her spontaneous outflow of Christian pity and compassion is in stark contrast to the cold unfeeling response of the rationalist humanist philosophies of utilitarianism and socialism. Towards the end, Sonya gives Rodya a cross and says she will help him carry his burden and they go off to Siberia together but he refuses to look at her, emphasising his total alienation from society.
That evening in the theatre stimulated much thought as the issues Dostoevsky identified in the mid-nineteenth century still have relevance today. 


Image courtesy of Master isolated images  /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wednesday 30 October 2013

A new take on Zacchaeus


I expect everyone is familiar with the story of Zacchaeus (as recorded in Luke 19) You maybe also sang this song as a child:

Now Zacchaeus was a very little man,
And a very little man was he,
He climbed up to the top of the tree,
For the Saviour he wanted to see,
For the Saviour he wanted to see.

Now when the Saviour came that way,
He looked up to the tree,
And said, “Now Zacchaeus, you come down,
I’m coming to your house for tea,

I’m coming to your house for tea!” 

I was reading Daniel B. Clendenin' s website http://www.journeywithjesus.net/ this week and found the following new take on the story.  I have heard the tale many times before I have never understood Zacchaeus in this way.
Traditionally Zacchaeus is a sinner who repents and is converted on the spot and as a result he promises future reparations. Clendenin writes:

"There's another way to read this story in which Zacchaeus isn't a sinner who converts but a saint who surprises. He doesn't make promises about the future, rather, he defends himself and shocks the crowd by appealing to his past. Both interpretations depend on how you translate Luke 19:8, and in particular the verbs that in the Greek text are in the present tense. It's a good example of the interplay between translation and interpretation. Even though the verbs are in the present tense, the typical way of reading of this story follows scholars like Robert Stein and translations like the NRSV and NIV. They render the present tense verbs as a "futuristic present." That is, Zacchaeus the sinner repents and vows that henceforth he'll make restitution.
The second option follows commentators like Joseph Fitzmyer and translations like the KJV and RSV. They render the verbs as a "progressive present tense." In this reading, Zacchaeus is a hidden saint about whom people have made all sorts of false assumptions about his corruption. And so he defends himself: "Lord, I always give half of my wealth to the poor, and whenever I discover any fraud or discrepancy I always make a fourfold restitution.The crowd had demonized Zacchaeus. Jesus praises him."

An understanding of grammar can thus transform the interpretation of the story.  

I like the second way of reading the story. It fits with the many times that in Luke's gospel Jesus calls out good people who are bad and commends bad people who are good. The gospel has some unlikely heroes — the faith of a Roman soldier, a "good" Samaritan, a shrewd manager who was commended for his dishonesty, a Samaritan leper who was the only person to give thanks for his healing, and an un-named tax collector who was commended as more righteous than a Pharisee. This way of interpreting the story of Zacchaeus adds another person to this list that praises those it was considered shocking to praise.


Image courtesy of satit_srihin  /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tuesday 29 October 2013

Social media - the pluses and the minuses


This blog is a tiny part of the phenomenon of 'Social media'. 

Social media of all kinds (especially facebook and twitter) is a tool that connects and informs people and encourages communication and the sharing of opinions. It has grown exponentially and now almost everyone is involved. For those in the church it can be a very effective tool but we need to be aware of the pitfalls. Here are a short list of the benefits and the risks when you get involved. 

The good points -
It is instantaneous
You can communicate immediately with a potentially huge number of people. The people who read what you say can pass on your message. Conversations can be had between people who would not otherwise meet in a public arena and these exchanges can be freely observed by others.

It feels personal
I like the comment of a teenager who said "I love my computer because I meet all my friends there." We can be connected to our network where ever we are in the world in a way that feels personal and inclusive. Social media is a tool that can be used to build relationships and community.

It is not preaching at people
Social media enables people to participate, converse, develop ideas and give feedback. At best it is a debating forum where ideas are robustly discussed. Sometimes this is not for the faint hearted but those who enjoy debates in the real world will find many opportunities to discuss areas of interest on line. 


The Risks
It is a public space
Writing an update on facebook can seem like having a conversation with your friends but you are really writing on a billboard in a public hall. If you forget that it is public, you may also start to think that conventions about confidentiality or gossip don't apply. You must think of anything you say on-line as information that you want and are happy for anyone and everyone to hear you say. Before you paste those words on-line imagine what you would feel if they were to appear in a local newspaper with your name alongside.
It can never be totally private
Even if you set your privacy settings to the highest level, so that only your friends can see what you write, you can have no control on what they do with it once it has left your computer. They can freely pass it on. Do you know and trust all your friends enough to be 100% confident that they would never pass on something. Have you ever shared something without asking the person who sent it to you if you may? When dealing with social media you must think of everything as public.

It is considered publishing in law
The law of the land that applies to libel, copyright, freedom of information and data protection apply on line just as in any other form of publishing. 

Your words will be there forever
If you have second thoughts about something you have written on- line and delete it soon after,  you may be too late. It could have already been shared and may well be stored forever in various places in cyberspace.
What is public and what is private?
There is a blurring of the boundary between public and private space. It is no longer as clear as it once was. If you have a job such as a minister are you writing something in the name of the organisation you are seen to represent or are you writing in a wholly personal capacity. If you say things that offend your employers policies, will you be disciplined? In a church context the personal opinions of church workers may be taken to represent the church. Clergy have been advised to use separate social media account for public ministry and a separate profile for their private life. This is a difficult area as for many of us our public life and private life merge in a vocation that involves all we do. 

The most important thing is to look at what you have written, think twice and then think again. If you have any doubts DON'T POST.

Image courtesy of  jannoon028  /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wednesday 23 October 2013

Friends reunited

I left school almost forty years ago! Wow!  Where did all that time go? But last week I signed up to the "Friends Reunited" website. I have lost contact with everyone from my school days and I wondered what had happened to them.
It was very interesting to see how those folks who have joined the "Friends Reunited" website have described themselves and where they have ended up. Many are now scattered across Europe but quite a number are predictably clustered around the area we came from.
So now my curiosity is satisfied. 
It is important as I reflect on this exercise to remember that I do not know any of the people whose names I recognise. We were together a long time ago and I have had a full and happy family life with a whole new circle of friends. I guess that each one of them has had similar experiences. I cannot see me ever contacting any of them as we all have had such separate divergent lives. We have nothing in common except that forty years ago we sat in the same classroom for several hours a week. (We also had some good social times together as amongst other things we learned about the affects of alcohol!)  At that young age our memories can often seem clearer because they were stored by a much younger brain, uncluttered by the intervening lifetime of stuff.
We have those memories but the people I remember will all have changed and will not be the same today as the children I knew. 
My prying curiosity has been satisfied. However, I will leave my information up there on the website in the unlikely event that anyone, anywhere, ever wonders what happened to me!

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tuesday 10 September 2013

George MacDonald on the Bible.

This quote is taken from the film "George MacDonald" by Charles William Seper, Jr. (The quote comes originally from the biography by MacDonald's son Greville.) George MacDonald replies to a woman who asks why he has fallen away from the Christian faith. He replies:

"Have you really been reading my books, and at this time ask me what have I lost of the old faith? Much have I rejected of the new, but I have never rejected anything I could keep and have never turned again to gather what I had once cast away. With the faith itself to be found in the old Scottish manse I trust I have a true sympathy. With many of the forms gathered around that faith and supposed by the faithful to set forth and explain their faith, I have none. At a very early age I had begun to cast them from me; but all the time my faith in Jesus as the Son of the Father of men and the Saviour of us all, has been growing. If it were not for the fear of its sounding unkind, I would say that if you had been a disciple of his instead of mine, you would not have mistaken me so much. Do not suppose that I believe in Jesus because it is said so-and-so in a book. I believe in him because he is himself. The vision of him in that book, and I trust, his own living power in me, have enabled me to understand him, to look him in the face, as it were, and accept him as my Master and Saviour, in following whom I shall come to the rest of the Father's peace. The Bible is to me the precious thing in the world, because it tells me his story; and what good men thought about him who knew him and accepted him. But, the common theory of the inspiration of the words, instead of the breathing of God's truth in the hearts and souls of those who wrote it, and who then did their best with it, is degrading and evil; and they who hold it are in danger of worshipping the letter instead of living in the Spirit, of being idolaters of the Bible instead of disciples of Jesus….It is Jesus who is the Revelation of God, not the Bible; that is but a means to a mighty eternal end. The book is indeed sent us by God, but it nowhere claims to be His very word. If it were - and it would be no irreverence to say it - it would have been a good deal better written. Yet even its errors and blunders do not touch the truth, and are the merest trifles - dear as the little spot of earth on the whiteness of the snowdrop. Jesus alone is The Word of God.

With all sorts of doubt I am familiar, and the result of them is, has been, and will be, a widening of my heart and soul and mind to greater glories of the truth - the truth that is in Jesus - and not in Calvin or Luther or St. Paul or St. John, save as they got it from Him, from whom every simple heart may have it, and can alone get it. You cannot have such proof of the existence of God or the truth of the Gospel story as you can have of a proposition in Euclid or a chemical experiment. But the man who will order his way by the word of the Master shall partake of his peace, and shall have in himself a growing conviction that in him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge….

One thing more I must say: though the Bible contains many an utterance of the will of God, we do not need to go there to find how to begin to do his will. In every heart there is a consciousness of some duty or other required of it; that is the will of God. He who would be saved must get up and do that will - if it be but to sweep a room or make an apology, or pay a debt. It was he who had kept the commandments whom Jesus invited to be his follower in poverty and labour."

Image courtesy of dan /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Monday 9 September 2013

Two basic problems with the Roman Catholic Mass

My good old friend Ian Fraser spoke eloquently yesterday afternoon about the two basic problems with the legitimacy of the Roman Catholic mass. Ian is 95 years old, (nearly 96) a church of Scotland minister, and was appointed by the pope at the time of Vatican two to a panel that brought together Reformed, Orthodox and Catholic scholars to discuss theology and ecclesiology.

The first reason he claimed the RC mass is illegitimate was because it is only ever presided over by one half of the human race - i.e. males. It can never be a legitimate Christian communion until it allows women to preside.

The second reason is that millions of Christians in good standing in their own churches are excluded from the communion because of the RC rules that discriminate against Roman Catholics. Communion cannot be communion if it excludes and discriminates.

Ian was never afraid of controversy - perhaps we need more such honesty in ecumenical debate.


Photo - by me...






Sunday 8 September 2013

Opium of the people



When Karl Marx made his much paraphrased comment about religion in the nineteenth century he was describing the role that organised religion had on the lives of people in that society. This relationship is very different to the relationship that religion and society has today. Power, influence and personal devotion is for the majority of people today very different to then.  Of course what Marx actually said was:  "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people".
I wondered earlier today what is the opium of the people today? What fills the role that Marx identified being occupied by religion. I didn't take me long to come up with an answer! It seems to me quite clear that our celebrity obsessed popular media is the opiate that dulls the senses and interests people in frivolities and meaningless ephemera whilst promising engagement and meaning. 
I believe that religion is today still the heart of the heartless world and the soul of soulless and this can best be seen in conditions where it brings hope in a real political and prophetic sense. I am encouraged by the growth of theologies that have bravely stand against dictators and systems of oppression. This incidentally could be interpreted to mean that I see religious people on Marx's side in this false dichotomy. 
Religion's place in society is as diverse as there are many different people of faith. For me at best it is a prophetic ideal to critique the powers and principalities that rule this world. At worse it is still, as Marx feared, a soft mushy comforter for those who want to be diverted from the real world and bask in the false security of spiritual comfort based on feelings of well-being and health. In this way the false and worse examples of religion not only continue to be guilty as accused by Marx but also are complicit with the ultimately unsatisfying values of our consumerist society.
(Image courtesy ofDanilo Rizzuti FreeDigitalPhotos.net )

Friday 9 August 2013

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - a book review - Mohsin Hamid



The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid is an amazing book, well written and poignant, that tells of a young man from Pakistan who wins a scholarship to Princeton and then gets a prestigious job in New York. Set against the backdrop of “9/11” his career as an analyst discovering the fundamentals of commercial companies makes him reflect more widely on America and the new world he has entered and the old world he left behind. It leads him to a crisis and the rejection of the new world that he had initially embraced.

It is a subtle and insightful critique of the USA and the post 9/11 foreign policy viewed from a sympathetic observer from another culture.

The story is also about boundaries and relationships as there is a parallel personal narrative of his friendship and love of a beautiful, but troubled young American woman.

It is a short book and I found the unusual style of relating the story a little annoying at first, but I was impressed by the ambiguity of the ending.

Image courtesy of dan /FreeDigitalPhotos.net



Wednesday 31 July 2013

Tradition - a story for children, young and old

This is based on an old apocryphal story. I told this version in church last week. 

There was once a small kirk in the countryside. There was an old woman who lived in a cottage next door. Mrs G was a sort of caretaker or beadle. In return for looking after the building she was given her cottage rent free.
In those long ago days mice were a big problem and to keep them under control most people had a cat. This old lady was no different. She had a big cat called Meg who lived most of the time in the church.
The people who came to the church loved to see Meg. They would stroke her and pet her as she went round greeting them during a service.
Then one day they got a new minister. Mr James was straight from a preachers college and he was quite serious. Everyone liked him and he liked the people in the village but every time he took a service he started sneezing.
Outside the church he was fine but when he went inside he had a sneezing problem.
The doctor in the village knew what the problem was. 
"Cats fur" he said. “You are allergic to cats”. 
He knew that Meg the old cat who kept the mice away from the church was always there during the service. It was Mrs G's cat.
The minister went to see Mrs G and told her of his problem
She offered to shut the cat in her cottage while the service was on and Mr James agreed. But the congregation complained. They had become very accustomed to Meg. They wanted to see her. They liked to pet her and stroke her as she walked round the church greeting them all during the sermon.
Mr James and Mrs G had an other chat and came up with a brilliant idea. She would tie her cat on a piece of string outside the front door of the church when the service was due to start and then all the congregation could greet Meg as they went into the church.
And so it was and everyone was happy. Eventually a big brass cat ring was fixed to the church wall just beside the front door to attach Meg's string.
Years passed. Mrs G died. Mr James moved on. Meg the cat died and was replaced with a new mouser. The caretakers cottage was demolished. But the tradition still continued. Before each service the caretaker would take the church cat and tie him or her on the ring fixed to the wall by the front door especially for the purpose.
And everyone had forgotten Mrs G and Mr James. All they remembered was that it wasn't a proper service without a cat tied with a piece of string to the brass ring on the outside wall.
And that is how traditions start. We do something and then forget why we are doing it and no longer think about what we are doing.
Our bible reading today is about Jesus teaching his disciples the prayer we call the Lords prayer.

Those familiar words can be so well known that we repeat them without thinking about their meaning. Today in our service will think about those words to look beyond the tradition.  

Tuesday 30 July 2013

More summer reading THE BOOK OF WHY by Nicholas Montemarano

This novel is about Eric, the broken author of motivational self help books. Eric has made a fortune by telling people that that can do anything they want if they have a positive attitude and believe it possible. He is broken because, despite all that he has written and the inspirational lectures he has given, he could not stop his beloved wife from dying.

He retires from the world and lives in a remote cottage in Martha's Vineyard with only his wife's old German shepherd dog, Ralph, for company. There he is found by Sam, a woman who has read all his books and believes all he taught. Yet she too is battling problems of her own. Together they begin a journey that is a search for meaning. He tries unsuccessfully to write his next book which addresses the “why” question. This is the real question that Eric and Sam and struggling to answer, namely why is it that when people do all the right things crap still happens?

The book is dark journey through the sub-conscious emotions of desire, love and guilt. The plot is not straightforward and in places confusing The characters are not very likeable but become understandable as the story unfolds. The book explores the vacuous hype peddled by motivational life coaches and comes to the conclusion that theologians have long known that suffering is a mystery and the things that happen can afflict good and bad people alike. (Theodicy is the name for the study of the problem of evil in a world with a good God.)


For me one of the best parts of the book was the loving portrayal of the dog Ralph who is a constant feature through Eric's life: courtship, marriage and widowhood. At the end of the book the old dog dies and I was left wondering how Eric will live without Ralph. But that is part of the ambiguity of the ending.

Friday 26 July 2013

More summer reading


It must be the weather - I have read more books in the last fortnight than....

Matchbox Memories is the story of an ordinary family with secrets. Ian has to leave his wife and young boys in the south east to go to Cumbria to look after the Aunt who brought him up while his uncle is in hospital. They have been Ian's parents since he was orphaned at five years old but he has never called them Mum and Dad. His mother is now suffering from Alzheimer's and needs constant supervision. Ian's siblings each have difficult situations in their own lives which they have been keeping secret from the rest of the family. As Ian lives with his mother for a week, caring for her while his father is in hospital, he learns much more about her and in moments of lucidity she hints at secrets from the past that he never knew.

The book is well written as it develops each member of the family as a rounded character. It deals sensitively and humorously with Alzheimer's and the bizarre behaviour and conversations that can take place, especially the continuous repetition of the same questions. Yet throughout this the author always treats the sufferer of the condition with dignity and respect. Ray Kingfisher must have either direct experience of living with Alzheimer's patients or has studied his subject carefully because this is one of the most perceptive fictional accounts that I have read. It accords with my experience of those with the condition and their carers. He portrays accurately the difficulties of being a carer of someone with serious memory loss. Alzheimer's could be a depressing subject matter but this is an uplifting book.

The novel has a moral about the importance of being open in family relationships because of the power of secrets to undermine trust. At the end of the novel the family members reveal to each other the hidden parts of their lives. There is a feeling of release of tension as they each begin to understand the burdens that the others had been carrying alone. There were so many secrets to emerge that I half wished for one member of the family who was not hiding a guilty secret!


It is a very enjoyable read with a warm bitter-sweet humour running through it. I recommend it highly.

Thursday 25 July 2013

Book review "An invisible sign of my own"


This is a well written book with a lovely prose style but the plot is unbelievable and the characters are either not likeable or completely weird.

Mona, the main protagonist is a flawed, confused and withdrawn twenty year old who takes solace in numbers. Her relationships with other adults including her family is difficult. Her father became ill when she was ten and since then she has withdrawn more and more from life. She becomes a primary maths teacher and this novel tells of her experiences with the children and the way she reacts to their needs and how she is challenged and reacts as a result.

Mona is hired to be a primary school maths teacher. She has no teaching qualification but has always had a thing for numbers. Perhaps this could happen in the USA but most countries expect teachers to be college trained! She doesn't act rationally and does silly things. I thought the most stupid was taking an axe into her classroom to represent a number “7”. She hung it on her wall which of course led to it being in the hands of a child in a tantrum with disastrous results. She does have considerable success in enthusing young children to like numbers.

Instead of being sympathetic to Mona I found myself getting annoyed with her for her irrational and incomprehensible behaviour. She shows signs of mental disturbance by knocking on wood in time to her breathing when she gets stressed. Her next door neighbour is a former maths teacher who now runs a hardware store. He too has a strange relationship with numbers and is also mentally unbalanced.


Fiction is an opportunity to work out how other peoples minds work from the inside. This can work really well and offer unique insights into very different perspectives on the world. Perhaps the best example of this is “The curious incident of the dog in the night time” where the world is seen through the eyes of a person with autism. Unfortunately, I didn't find it worked here, perhaps because the plot was weak and confusing. Also I found the ending to the book unsatisfying as it didn't come to an end but stopped without a resolution. I didn't like the book but others have given it good reviews, so perhaps it was just me!

Wednesday 24 July 2013

Assertive or Aggressive - they are different!

It helps me sometimes to remember the principles behind assertive language which is in fact the opposite of aggressive language. This post is based on an email from a friend - I don't know the resources they used to write it.


Aggression in communication is complicated and always unhelpful. It gets divided into different types.

1) Open aggression in which one person is clearly and obviously violent and rude to another. This is quite an honest form of aggression, you can see who is verbally thumping you, it hurts and you know why. An example of an aggressive phrase - ‘you are an idiot’
2) Indirect aggression in which one person hides behind politeness acting like a sniper, and ducks and dives so much that though you feel you are being thumped it’s not immediately obvious why. An indirect aggressive phrase - ‘I see you have behaved as usual’
3) Passive aggression is harder to notice again. You know aggression is going on because you are feeling a bit thumped and wondering how to cope. It is passive, often expressed by the aggressor being all wounded and hurt. A passive aggressive phase ‘I’m made to feel no one loves me’
Assertive phrases are less ‘spikey’, not aiming to punish the other person but where one does feel aggrieved or hurt, one takes responsibility for that feeling and tries and help the other person help you. An assertive phrase might be, “When you tell me I’m an idiot I feel hurt, I would prefer it if you told me what you were upset about in a way I could respond to”. An aggressive person might say, ‘You’re and idiot too!’ (direct) or ‘I can see you've used your usual level of insight and judgement’ (indirect) or ‘I’m so hurt I’m going to run away and hide’ (passive).
The assertive person takes responsibility for their feelings, recognises their own rights to be treated respectfully, but also respects the other person’s rights to feel cross and express themselves. They seek for a ‘win win’ and not just the satisfaction of trying to make the other person squirm. For me passive aggression is always the hardest to resist giving and the hardest to cope with. I’m an absolute sucker for the sucker punch, ‘Just look how much you've hurt me!’ Unless I’m careful I feel anxious and guilty and then want to ‘out passive aggressive the other person’ by saying how much they have hurt me!
I believe it really is worth exploring assertiveness and I say this as someone who is hopelessly addicted to various convoluted, mostly passive aggressive, form of communication.
The internet is an arena where our interactions with others are visible for the world to see. It should be a forum in which we resist all violent language including open, indirect or passive aggression.

Tuesday 23 July 2013

Engaging in a group.

A friend of mine was recently hurt in an exchange on-line by the comments made in an open group. 

Some comments made in the midst of a passionate and heated argument were far more nasty than if the participants had been face to face. 

At times like this I find the following notes on the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness very helpful. They based on a website on cognitive behaviour. 

1) I am responsible for my own feelings. Other people can only have power over how you feel if you let them. Our choice remains foremost. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, ‘no one can diminish you without your permission’.

2) People can’t make me do things such as, feel hurt, leave the group, feel diminished, be excluded. These are my choices. To choose not to be hurt is hard but liberating.

3) I am not responsible for how other people react to what I say. I am only responsible for what I say and feel. I can choose therefore to exaggerate, ignore facts, ride rough shod over others, ignore their point of view and context and while other people may choose to be hurt or not hurt, I can only remain responsible for my own integrity, motivations and love.

4) It is not unreasonable to expect people therefore to take responsibility (especially in a in a Christian group) for providing a context filled with love, kindness and hope while maintaining their own integrity.

5) Criticism is a positive and good thing particularly when the intention is to be positive and good. I can’t assume that the other person is deliberately trying to harm and damage me. I could ask them if I was worried about their motives. If they are trying to hurt me I don’t have to accept their criticism or allow it to undermine me.

6) It helps not to ‘mind read’. It is quite possible to get very cross with what I think motivates the other person, when in reality they had not realised that is what I was thinking nor did they have that motivation. Before choosing to be hurt by them, I can say what I felt when they said what they said and offer them a way of offering that criticism that I would have found easier to deal with.



Image courtesy of twobee/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Amazon.com: Five Tales of Mystery and Magic - Coffee time short stories eBook: Jean de Beurre: Kindle Store

Book review "A lady cyclist's guide to Kashgar" by Suzanne Joinson



This new debut novel tells two stories and it is not until you are half way through the book that you understand how they are related. The first story follows an eccentric group of missionaries to one of the remotest regions on the earth in 1923. Kashgar is a city north of Tibet and south of the USSR in China. The party is led by zealous Millicent assisted by beautiful Lizzie who is under her spell and Lizzie's sister, Eva. Eva doesn't really believe in evangelism but comes for the experience of travel. This ill matched triplet cause chaos and confusion in Kashgar and their woes increase as there is an uprising. Eva's story dominates this part of the narrative as she completes her project – the cyclists guide. The author brings to life the colonial attitudes and reality of life in remote places for British women in the 1920s.
Alongside this is a story set in present day London based on Frieda, who dissatisfied with her life, sets off on a new journey of discovery with a Yemeni refugee that she finds on her doorstep. Together they discover the tale of Kashgar and how I relates to her confused life.

The book is written with beautiful vivid descriptions of the atmospheric places described. It is about belonging and alienation and how we connect to the world around us. It is about inheritance and the way that history repeats itself. The story is moving and the characterisation deep and expressive. The pattern of alternating chapters telling the two parallel stories could have been annoying if you had found one interesting and the other less so but both were engaging.


It is a moving adventure story as well as a profound examination of the way that well meaning families can fail their children.


It was on the whole well written, but I have three criticisms of it. The title is misleading as there is little about cycling in it. I found it difficult to engage with the characters in the book as they all were to some extent weird! And third, there were so many story lines that sometimes it got a bit confusing.  
Image "Family" courtesy of arztsamui  FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Monday 8 July 2013

Book Review - Paul Torday's latest novel

Book Review

Salmon fishing in the Lebanon” was Paul Torday's excellent first novel, now also a film. Since then he has been prolific. He has produced interesting, well-written and often comical and moving fiction. His latest novel "The light shining in the forest" is no exception, though it is much darker than the previous novels and covers the uncomfortable ground of child abduction, murder and the supernatural.

The main character in the story is Norman, a minor bureaucrat, who has risen through the ranks by playing the system to become the Regional Children's Commissioner (designate) for the North East. Due to political manoeuvring, this new post has been created but policy changes in Whitehall have meant that nothing has been done to give the post-holder a role. As a result he is left on his own with a job title, large salary, and an office with secretary but has nothing to do. Also crucial to the story is the local trainee reporter, Willie, who is desperate to move beyond the parochialism of a local newspaper and become a real investigative journalist. The book conveys an oppressive description of the remote border lands of Northumberland, especially of the Kielder Forest.

Torday gives a critique of much child protection practice and the whole safeguarding industry that has grown up to protect children. The character Norman shows how someone can be very efficient in social work at tick box exercises but have never have anything to do with actual real children! In this sense the book is a critique of our contemporary society's attitude to child protection that sees the only way to counter evil  to be through bureaucracy. The argument goes that evil will not be possible if there are enough checks and procedures to safeguard against it. The by product is to frustrate and annoy all the good people who are just trying to get on with doing youth work.

The novel also has a political dimension as a key element of the plot depends upon the Home Secretary not wanting to lose face by admitting what has happened in secret and therefore damage his promotion prospects.

There is also a supernatural element to the novel. Some of the major characters have pseudo-religious visions, and hear voices which are totally inexplicable to other characters in the book. They end up being regarded by them as insane. Several of the characters in the book have names of characters from the Christian bible but these are mostly ambiguous to the plot.

The plot has a believable villain (a sociopath who is probably on the autistic spectrum) whose viewpoint and actions seem very logical in his own mind.

There are two weakness in this novel. The first is the weak characterisation. The lost boy's mother, Mary, disappears from the narrative almost as if the author didn't know what to do with her. Pippa, the leading female in the story is very much a one-dimensional character who never develops. We end the book knowing very little about her despite the crucial part she plays in key parts of the narrative. Secondly, the book suffers from some confusion as there are many points of view. The result is that at certain points dramatic interest is diminished.


Overall this is an excellent, imaginative and compelling story. The middle section especially is particularly gripping. Towards the end I became very annoyed with the establishment and their attempts to manipulate the outcome. After the climax there are still over forty pages in which the author tidies up the loose ends. The very different style to Torday's previous novels may alienate some readers who've got used to the cosy if somewhat manic environment that he created with the more loveable characters there. This is a much darker place and the events that unfold are also much more serious. Child abduction is a particularly nasty, painful subject and overall it is explored with sensitivity. Adding a supernatural element to this confuses the genre of the fiction and could give the reader emotional overload! Incidentally, I believe that the book would make a very good film.
To buy this book click here...
Amazon.com: Five Tales of Mystery and Magic - Coffee time short stories eBook: Jean de Beurre: Kindle Store

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Michael Jagessar on hope and despair



Michael Jagessar, Moderator of URC General Assembly, has written the following inspiring and very clever bit of prose.  The question when you read this prose is whether you are a glass half full, or glass half empty person, and how we 'read things' (like statistics etc). So read it from the top, and see how you feel, and then from below/bottom up and notice how different the message is - even though the words are the same.
This is what he wrote:


we are part of a dying church
so I refuse to believe
we are changing... we are blessed
I realize this may be a shock but
'change comes from below' 
is a scandal, and 
'the poor will always be with us'
so in 5 years I will tell my Elders
we can be a church without them
synods will know that
it cannot be business as usual
we are not alone
I tell you this
people of faith will con-spire together
10 years down the road
we will mark the demise of the URC.
I, therefore, do not conclude that
we will be part of vibrant community of faith
in the future
a lukewarm faith will be the norm
no longer will it be said that
we continue to discern God's purpose for us.
it will be evident that
we have lost the plot.
it is foolish to presume that
there is hope. 


What a difference if you start at the bottom and work up rather than the more usual top down approach!


 (Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Sunday 9 June 2013

Diary of a voyage round the Hebrides on the Eda Frandsen

This post is a description of our holiday in May-June 2013 on board the "Eda Frandsen" a 56ft gaff rig cutter built in Denmark in 1938 for fishing. She was rebuilt and refitted as a charter vessel in the 1990s. For more details see http://eda-frandsen.co.uk/

Saturday, 25 May
We sailed out of Mallaig at about 4:30pm and anchored in Kinloch bay Rhum at 8.30pm. There we enjoyed a wonderful meal of fish pie followed by apple crumble. The sailing was fantastic. We had the main,staysail, jib and topsail all up and Caroline helmed the boat. Eda Frandsen sailed along at a good pace. The cabin is compact but the bed is comfortable.


Sunday, 26 May
We left from early at about 8:30 following morning setting sail across the Minch towards South Uist. We had all the sails out and there was a good wind probably four or five. We crossed the Minch without incident and anchored in Loch Scheport at about 5 PM. 
For most the day we had lovely views across the Coolins of sky the weather was fine and dry but there were a few occasional showers. The sun shone on occasions but not enough to make it worthwhile getting out the sunblock. We started the day with lovely scrambled eggs breakfast and then for lunch we had freshly baked bread and home-made tomato soup. In the afternoon tea was served with freshly baked banana cake. 
When we got to South Uist some folks we were able to go ashore and have a walk. There we saw a sea eagle. The evening meal was vegetarian lasagne followed by Lemon cheesecake. The on-board chef, Chloe, is doing a great job! The evening meal was disrupted because of worries about the anchors hold and had to be reset. The wind blew up in the evening and we were set for a very windy night.

Monday, 27 May
The night was rather noisy as the storm blew through our Anchorage. It was a force nine with 45 knot winds. However after 3am it calm down and we all slept peacefully at least some of the night. The captain and mate though took it on terms to be awake all night on anchor watch.
We left the anchorage at 10:30am after sleeping in and not having breakfast until 8.30. 
The later start let the strong winds blow out. We sailed all the way and the sea was bumpy and the wind was still fairly strong we sailed up north until we got to Loch Euphort, a big sheltered bay on North Uist where we anchored at 3pm. We then went ashore and climbed the hill which gave a commanding view over the whole island. North Uist is an island that is reasonably flat and fall of small lakes. 
From our anchorage we enjoyed a tremendous sunset that evening across the loch, when the sun finally set at about 10pm.

Tuesday
Today we had breakfast at eight o’clock and it included porridge. We then left on the high tide at 9.30am. It was another lovely fine day with a good breeze so we set off with two reefs in the sale. The sea state was a medium so our passage was a bit bouncy. 
We sailed until 12 but then then as progress was rather slow we decided to put the engine on and motor sailed as we were not really getting anywhere. The sun shone all day and the wind changed and rose later in the afternoon as we headed south. As a result we managed to sail the last few miles down to Lochboisdale. 
We anchored here and we arrived at the same time as the 19.00 our Calmac ferry from Oban the Lord of the Isles. As we were anchoring in the bay the ferry was about to depart and gave us five blasts on its whistle because he was unsure of our intentions! 
At our anchorage our cook produced haddock, chickpea and cheritos with couscous served with purple sprouting broccoli followed by orange and rosemary cake with an orange sauce. It was all extremely lovely and yummy. We enjoyed another sunset over Lochboisdale.

Wednesday
We left Lochboisdale at 9am after a breakfast of fresh pancakes and maple syrup. The sailing was superb high winds gaining strength and speed until we reached the ship’s maximum of 8 knots. Lunch was served in mid-route of freshly baked Cornish pasties hot and fresh straight out of the oven. We then tacked into Vatttersay Bay to land at 2.30pm and go ashore through a two-hour walk around and across the island to see the Atlantic coast on the other side. The island is only about a quarter of a mile wide at this point. 
Caroline and I then climbed the hill to see the view over to Castlebay and on our way back we saw the monument to a 1944 air crash where a Catalina aircraft crashed into the Cliff and the aluminium fuselage and wings and other wreckage is still there lying beside the monument. We went back onto the boat for our meal where the Cook had worked hard. The skipper has put out our crails in the sea and we are hoping that there will be fresh crab tomorrow. 
The evening meal consisted of freshly made salmon fish cakes potatoes carrots and beans followed by chocolate brownies and cream fraiche with a few blueberries to garnish them. In the evening we went across onto the beach for a sunset walk on the island and watch the Atlantic breakers and the sunset setting over distant horizon. It was a great photo opportunity. 
After returning to the ship the dolphins in the Bay were playing excitedly around Anchorage including doing jumps and backflips right beside the boat. It was a calm night and we slept like logs.

Thursday
The sun is shining brightly again this morning but the wind had got up and it is “Baltic” so we have to be wrapped up warm for sailing. We were off after breakfast which had been potatoes and sausages and there were very large helpings! We then set sail heading south for our day trip to Mingulay. This took longer than expected and I helmed a part of away. It was rather misty as Mingulay came into view. We anchored in Mingulay Bay, not far out from the sandy beach where we could see a large group of seals lying on the sand; both adults and pups. 
Before we went ashore we had lunch of mixed salads which was an exceptionally enjoyable meal. On Mingulay there were a lot of scientists carrying out research into birds of some sort as there is a puffin colony and many other birds nesting on the island. There was also a deserted village where you land of roofless houses and a ruined chapel. The Roman Catholic village had a chapel was built only in 1895 with a priest’s living accommodation on the ground floor. The chapel was above, accessed by an external stone stair on the gable wall. For something built so recently there was very little left of it except the gable wall and one or two other walls festooned with many notices warning you to keep out because it was a dangerous building. None of the cottages had roofs. 
There was one building that looked watertight but that was being used by the scientific researchers. Their tents were camping all round it. Our walk took us over the cliffs where we were walking through the land where they were puffin burrows and the very large number of seals and pups on the sandy beach. One of the pups had become slightly separated from the rest of the group and I was able to approach it to quite a close distance and get a good photograph of its little furry face. 
It was a beautiful island and a joy to explore it and then we sailed off circumnavigating the island to see the steep vertical cliffs on the Atlantic side. Caroline was steering the boat as we motored around this part and we picked up a lobster pot Iine. This is one of the worst things you can do in a boat. We got the rope caught up in the propeller. Fortunately we were able to cut it with a bread knife with the skipper leaning right over the side of the boat and using a boat hook. The propeller made a bit of a vibrating noise thereafter but we made it safely back to Castlebay where we anchored for the night near to the castle. It was again a lovely sunny evening. James went out in the dinghy and freed the rest of the rope from the propeller without having to get immersed in the cold seawater himself. 
The crab that had been caught in our crail this morning was cooked and served as a starter. The village looked lovely. For dinner there was haggis, neeps and tatties before which I read the appropriate Burns ode. The dessert was a sticky toffee prune cake. Then to finish off a good day we went ashore in the tender to the pub on Castlebay for good craic and watched the Cal Mac ferry come in at 10:30pm to tie up alongside appear to overnight in Castlebay. 
We got back to the boat after our trip to the pub by 11pm. We had a very interesting conversation with a lifeboat man in the bar that evening.

Friday
After breakfast we went ashore in Castlebay where we had a couple of hours exploring the small town. We looked into the Catholic chapel “Our Lady of the Isles” and then walked around the settlement buying some chocolate in the Co-op. There was a modern hospital, secondary School, swimming pool and sports centre with sauna and primary school in the town. 
The lifeboat man from last night in the pub was around again and he invited us aboard his lifeboat. He was very proud to show us all around including on the bridge, and the engine room. He was the engineer who always went out with the craft but he was also employed full-time to maintain it in a constant state of seaworthiness. The bridge was full of all the latest electronics and the engine room had two enormous engines that were absolutely spotlessly clean. Our yacht was brought along side the quay and the water tanks were filled from a hose on the pier. We set sail at noon to cross the Minch. 
The wind was fine and we set sail with full sails up: main, staysail, topsail, big jib and jib top sail. Every sail the ship could carry was out. The cook prepared fresh broccoli and Stilton soup for lunch which was excellent. Midcourse, halfway across the Minch, and just after lunch, a meeting between the captain and crew decided that we would actually change course and instead of heading for the island of Canna would head to Skye and anchor by the Talisker distillery so that we could have a tour of the distillery in the morning. 
The distance would be just about the same but the prospect of an interesting trip from the boat to look around the distillery made us all keen on the change. On the long passage the weather was sunny and warm yet there was wind enough to maintain 4 to 5 knots with our full sails set. On the crossing we took advantage of the calm sailing weather and the good winds to launch the dinghy and drive it in circles around the boat to get an opportunity to take photographs of the yacht under full sail. 
The photos have come out really well. Our evening meal was eaten on deck with roast chicken roast potatoes and veg all served at 7:30 PM as we sailed towards Loch Harcourt on Skye. The sail took a long time. It was a beautiful slow passage and the sunset was memorable particularly when the sun was behind Maclouds maidens, the rock stacks off Skye. We anchored outside the Talisker distillery at 9:30pm and went below for our dessert course of cheese and wine. It had been a very good day.

Saturday
Today we started by visiting the distillery at Talisker. It was very interesting to see how whisky was made. Then, at the end of the tour, after we had seen all the processes, we got to taste the 10-year-old single malt whisky. It was smooth and very pleasant. Caroline and I really liked it though we were not tempted enough to buy a bottle. They had some very old single malt which were expensive: a 30-year-old malt was priced at £500! 
We sailed off after the visit at about 12 o’clock. We had a great sail across to the island of Canna. We had a good wind and reached a speed of 7.1knots. It has been fun finding out how well this gaff rigged cutter sails. Caroline again had a good turn at helping. We came at last to Canna. From the angle we approached it seemed to be all rocky cliffs but as we rounded the headland we were brought into a lush fertile landscape where buildings were set into trees and fields with cows and sheep grazing. It was an unexpected oasis. 
We anchored after having put out to lobster pots down near to the beach. On arrival we had some wine and nibbles on deck until dinner was cooked. Tonight the cook has made pizza served with salad and sweet potatoes. For pudding we had rhubarb and almond crumble which was really good. It had been another wonderful day. 
And nearing the end of a holiday we knew we had just one more full day of sailing left. We will be starting in the morning with an exploration of the island. Canna looked lovely from the boat and as we stared out as we finished the last of our wine from dinner we were all looking forward to getting ashore and exploring properly in the morning.

Sunday
Our last full day. We had breakfast at eight which consisted of eggy bread with maple syrup and fried bananas which was something that I never tasted before but turned out to be excellent. Then we had two hours ashore to explore the island of Canna. 
The island is really beautiful; hills with cliffs and trees on the sheltered sid. There were some churches and chapels indicating the religious history. There were many cottages and a few more substantial houses. The silence was broken by birdsong tweeting loudly in the trees. There were Highland cows and sheep as well as loads of rabbits. The island is owned by the National trust and caters the tourists as well as providing a vibrant local community depending on agriculture and tourism. 
We went back to our ship Eda after two hours exploration and after a cup of tea we set sail from the Anchorage heading back towards Mallaig. It was a good sail. There were fairly light winds that blew us along from behind nicely. I took the helm for the last part of the sail. As we came to Mallaig we dropped the tender to drop off one of our party. Victor, from Bulgaria/Angola, had a meeting to attend first thing in Aberdeen the following morning so he had to head back to the real world late that evening. 
Then we headed off in Loch Nevis to anchored just off Knoydart in Inverie bay where there was a pub which advertises itself as the remotest pub on mainland Britain. We went ashore for a pint or three before the evening meal. It had a very good day and then the meal of fresh crab caught on the beach in Canna that morning was followed by curried prawns and then to dessert there was short bread and biscotti. The cook had really done well again. Another good end to a good day.

Monday

This was our last day we were woken at 7.30 and as we ate breakfast the captain and mate motored the boat down to Mallaig. We made a pier in the marina where we had left nine days before at about 9am. The Harbourmaster arrived alongside almost immediately with a parcel of clothing for the cook that had been sent to her by her mum!. Our car was left parked in the harbour and getting on board we drove home arriving back in Stirling at about one o’clock. This had been a really good holiday.

chitika