As I consider what to write in my last ministers letter a line from the song “I was born under a wandering Star”(Lee Marvin 1970) is in my head.... “I haven't seen a sight that doesn't look better looking back!” With hindsight we can all have 20-20 vision!
As I look back over the ten years that I have been at this church I can see many things which now I can see as the will of God but at the time we were too close to see the wood for the trees. Often when we are going through a difficult or confusing time, we are unaware of how God is guiding us. When I’m in the middle of a crisis, it’s difficult to comprehend God's plan because my thoughts and emotions are in turmoil. My mind is frantically working to find solutions, but all the while God is right there working things out! Years later it may become clear why God brought us through that experience the way He did. The bible verse at Romans 8:28 “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” sounds very confident but when things are a muddle all round we may not feel at all confident in God.
William Willimon says, “I believe that providence can be discerned in this life, but usually only in the backward view, never in the forward. That is, it is difficult to speak of God's guiding in terms of what happens to us at this moment or what will happen to us tomorrow. But we are more able to discern the loving hand of God in that which has happened to us in the past. As Saint Augustine said, when you first consider your life, it looks like nothing but a bunch of chicken tracks in the mud of a farmyard, going this way and that. But through the eyes of faith, we begin to discern pattern, meaning, direction. Providence.”
At some times in my life I have kept a journal. This is more than a diary and at times of turmoil or uncertainty it can be a way of organising your thoughts and helping you work things out. Sometimes if we write a diary or journal it can help us see all of the places where God is with us, and where God is working around us. In writing it down so that we may see it more clearly, we can develop our understanding rather than going over the same things again and again. If we learn to look using this as one tool to help us then perhaps we will begin to recognise God at work in the present.
As we look back we can all say “I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am if that hadn’t happened”
So with the date set for my final services I can look back over the last ten years and remember many happy times we have shared together. There have also been some times when we have exercised our Christian responsibility of care as we have supported each other. The church has grown and developed over that time – indeed churches are living organisms that only stand still when they are dead. Sadly some of the folks who were with us ten years ago are no longer with us but we rejoice that new people have come into the church. So I thank God for all the people here whose lives and words have shown me things about the love of God.
And I will continue to remember you all and pray for you and I hope you will remember me and pray for me too.
(This letter is in the current edition of the Grahamston United Church review)
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