The excitement of discovery...

I have just read a book by an author totally unknown to me and was completely blown away by it.
Cate Kennedy is fairly well known in Australia where she lives and the book is set. Her first novel, “The World Beneath” is about an absent father coming back into his daughters life when she is 15 for them to go into the wilderness on a journey of self discovery and bonding.
Kennedy says ‘I wanted to write a book about stasis... about people spinning their wheels and then encountering a crisis that knocks them sideways’. This book is about change and redemption, but not in any corny or simple sense. The plot the tells a story of an unhappy family: Rich, a nomadic, self-obsessed photographer; Sandy, his wacky, New-Age, fractious and estranged partner; and their ‘emo goth’ daughter, Sophie, a 15-year-old full of anger and fiercely intelligent. These characters are so skilfully drawn that they are not the stereotypes a lesser writer could have made them. They engage and move us, seeming utterly plausible, and are situated convincingly in the narrative of transformation.
There are many comments on contemporary society. I especially liked how Sophie is left first without her mobile and then without her ipod after the batteries expire removing her digital protection from the dramatic Tasmanian mountain landscape.
It is an excellent read, feisty, intelligent and closely written. I highly recommend it!

My last sermon as minister of Stirling Methodist Church

22 Aug 2010 Luke 10:1-11, 16-20

"Go on your way."(Luke 10:3) were Jesus' words to the seventy missionaries that he sent ahead to prepare the way for his coming.

"Go on your way." Words, which I feel I heard clearly when it was decided that I would move on from this position after ten years. Ten years is a long time.. Methodist ministers used to move every 3 years! But it is also a short time – I read in the last ACTS bulletin of Revd Andrew Scobie who is just celebrating 45 years in Cardross parish church...

So I am moving on and I am being challenged to do something new and different with my life. Though at first I wanted to stay on here as the months have gone on I have become aware that it is time to move on in a totally new direction. I was serving as a minister in churches that had been the whole of my life for those ten years. I am in a part of the country that I love and treasure. I was working with colleagues who are wonderful and caring. I am with friends, both old and new. It seemed to me that everything should feel perfect, and yet I have been forced to acknowledge an inner feeling that I was becoming stale, lacking the enthusiasm and bright new ideas that I had when I first started here and I should prepare myself for a new direction.

The decision was made and it is still frightening, scary, sad and exciting. A decision complicated by the family situation where we are not able to move at the present time. This means I am out of the normal pattern of what usually happens to ministers. But I know deep down inside that it is the right decision. What the future really holds I do not know. I have been investigating several openings but to date none of them has been the right one for me.

"Go on your way. I am sending you out like lambs into the midst of wolves."(Luke 10:3) Jesus' words to the seventy he sent out speak to me loudly. I feel like a lamb that is being removed from his flock and shoved out into the big bad world. I don't think there are any wolves waiting to devour me; ( the interview panel at Edinburgh University were rather wolf like!) However, I do not know where my journey will take me or the welcome I will receive.

This quote from The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien holds real truth in my life and I share it with you, thinking that it may resonate for you as you experience your own life's journey.

"The road goes on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say."

For each of us, life holds real uncertainties which are part and parcel of its fullness, delight and challenges. Each of you has surely had moments like those that are so pointed for me at this juncture.

I feel as if I am walking in the footprints of the first missionaries of Jesus. I know not what the future holds for me but I know that wherever I go and wherever I serve I will be taking something of what I have learned here with me. You are part of me, each of you and each of those who have been a part of this church family. God has richly blessed all of us. We have struggled together, we have grieved together and we have laughed, played and rejoiced together.

We have caressed each other, soothed each other's wounds and we have nurtured each other. We have prayed for one another and we have worshipped together. We have had disagreements and we have made up our differences. We have helped our children to grow spiritually and lovingly. We have seen little toddlers become young men and women and move on to take their proper place in the world. And we have watched each other grow older and comforted each other as we have aged. There were no grey hairs in my beard when I started here! This is what a Christian family does for each other and I will be taking all of this with me into the wider world. I will be sharing what this church has taught me about the joy of worshipping, of working for God and of spreading the good news of the gospel.

A church is much more than its minister. Ministers can set the tone and influence the direction of a church but the church is the people and you together are the ones who make things happen or not as the case may be. Ministers are called by God. But this is no different to the Call that God makes to every follower. What matters is that we open ourselves up to hearing the voice of God in our lives, and accept Gods call to us when we receive it. That call can take many different forms. We are not all called to the same ministry. We are not all called to be ordained in the church for example.

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mum, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?" "Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.

Mission – (sounds scary but all it means is what we do together for God in the world) is something we all do together. I believe passionately in working together. Think of the church as a group of people traveling along through life together. The journey can happen in many ways -Two examples:

If the minister is in total control and does everything then it is like those big tourist coaches I see passing regularly through Stirling. The driver is in his seat with a microphone in his hand and telling everyone what they should be seeing as they go past. And you look at the bus as it passes - the seats are filled with the glazed faces of semi comatose people, numbed into not seeing or doing because they don't know where they are: They have been through so many places so quickly and never really stopped and felt the wind on their faces and the earth under their feet. The people from the coach will have absorbed some stuff as they went along but they are not equipped for making any sort of journey on their own or indeed for passing on much of what they have been spoon fed through the commentary from the speakers above their heads...

A church can be like this if a minister is there doing everything for everyone and not letting people build and develop their own ministries. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the ride – but church can be so much more than this.

On the other hand a church can be like a group of friends out for a walk in the park. They will work out between them where they want to go and take account of what everyone can do. They will discuss the route, maybe argue about it, arrange between themselves for rest stops and what they want to see and achieve.. they will invite others to join them and bring their friends because the experience is one that is to be enjoyed. In this sort of vision of the church the minister is one of the friends walking in the group, someone with special gifts and training but who helps everyone else to use their gifts and talents but does not try to over control or run everything...

The latter as you know is my vision of church – a group of people who work together to try and do something useful for God. Now that sort of vision transcends the boundaries of denomination, churchmanship and nationality. Sometimes the church gets lost in these structural concerns.. we loose sight of what the church really is under the accumulation of detritus piled up on all of us from centuries of history and thought. All these things have their place but sometimes we need to strip it all away and think what is it really all about at the most basic level. ( I almost said back to basics but that phrase has been devalued by association!) .. and for me it is really all about knowing we are loved and valued by God, becoming people with more of the characteristics of Jesus in our lives, so that both individually and together we can do things that make the world a better rather than a worse place. And if we have stripped off all the cultural baggage it is then easy to tell other people naturally about what faith means to us because it will be more likely to mean something.

With a vision of church like that when I step out into the unknown I am not afraid because God is with me. I carry with me the love and friendship I have shared with many many people and know that God will guide my path in the future as he has in the past. It is always easy to see god in the past for with hindsight we all have 20-20 vision.

Remember the song “I was born under a wandering Star”(Lee Marvin 1970) .... One line - “I haven't seen a sight that doesn't look better looking back!” With hindsight we can all have 20-20 vision!

As I look back over the ten years that I have been here I can see many things which now I can see as the will of God but at the time we were too close to see the wood for the trees. Often when we are going through a difficult or confusing time, we are unaware of how God is guiding us. When I’m in the middle of a crisis, it’s difficult to comprehend God's plan because my thoughts and emotions are in turmoil.  My mind is frantically working to find solutions, but all the while God is right there working things out!  Years later it may become clear why God brought us through that experience the way He did. The bible verse at Romans 8:28 “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” sounds very confident but when things are a muddle all round we may not feel at all confident in God.

William Willimon says, “I believe that providence can be discerned in this life, but usually only in the backward view, never in the forward. That is, it is difficult to speak of God's guiding in terms of what happens to us at this moment or what will happen to us tomorrow. But we are more able to discern the loving hand of God in that which has happened to us in the past. As Saint Augustine said, when you first consider your life, it looks like nothing but a bunch of chicken tracks in the mud of a farmyard, going this way and that. But through the eyes of faith, we begin to discern pattern, meaning, direction.  Providence.”

And we take with us the gift of peace...

I pray that I will enter each new experience with the words of the first missionaries, "Peace to this house" (Luke 10:5), and that this may not be just a message from one Christian to another but a message from all of you to other Christians who share in the Kingdom of God. For we all are sharers of the peace of God, sharers of the peace of the Son of God. Luke tells us in Acts 16 that to proclaim the peace of Christ to others is to proclaim that God reigns supreme in our lives.

The most meaningful part of our liturgy and worship for me personally, is the sharing of the peace and our sending forth at the end of each service often with the words "Go in Peace to love and serve the Lord." The ultimate reason for our lives. Sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with all who will hear, see and accept it.

I hope this is the prayer that you will send me out with – for it is certainly the one that I will leave with you.

"Peace to this house."(Luke 10:5)

Reminiscence inspired by an old note book.

On the way back from Edinburgh on the train yesterday I started flicking through the old notebook that I had taken with me to note down any great words of inspiration that I heard in the presentation. I hadn't written much yesterday but the book was full of notes dating back several years.

Being a neat, pocket sized, notebook it had travelled with me to conferences and meetings all over the place.

The page that caught my eye was from a workshop/ seminar led by my old friend Peter Graves, in the summer of 2007 in the convent conference centre on the Frauenchimsee island on the Chimsee lake in Bavaria. (What a hardship to have to go to a location like that for a one week conference!)

Peters seminar had the title “When the going gets tough” and the page that caught my eye had the following quotation on it.

“To be effective ministers we need the head of a scholar, the heart of a child, the hide of a rhinoceros and a soft underbelly.”

Peter talked about each of these needs and pointed to the importance of keeping the balance between them all.

His presentation had many other memorable quotations:
“people are impossible – love them anyway”
“small minds kill big ideas”
“Never love God's work more than God”
“embrace your brokenness”
"tough times don't last, tough people do"
"The difference between a victim and a survivor - a victim always has someone to blame for their circumstances whereas a survivor always says they will see a way through and will win"

I must spend some more time looking through that old book and see what other wisdom is contained therein.

“Sepulchre” A book review

It is a big thick book.

I got to page 428 out of 739 and felt I have had enough. I don't want to waste however many hours of my life it will take to read the other half.

The book is “Sepulchre” by Kate Mosse and I liked her first book “Labyrinth”. I feel let down and disappointed as I do not like failing or leaving things unfinished. The time slip genre worked for Labyrinth but here she is trying to repeat the formula and it fails: the link is too tenuous.

The first 400 pages introduced a complex situation, introduced complex characters with secrets and there were all sorts of suggestions as to where the plot could have gone. But by page 429 I know there is an evil baddie and why he is out to get them. If you understand the contrived plot then you can easily work out that it can only move in certain directions. The characters are thin and clichéd. Is the plot about Debussy, the Tarot or about Meredith's past as none of the three story-lines is convincing? It is just a case of waiting to see if the psychopath gets them or they get him? Will Meredith and Hal get together and find meaning in life through each other? The author has failed to build up enough tension to make me want to bother to find out the answer to these questions.

I think I will just have to go and get another book.

Remembering Brother Roger five years after his assassination

Brother Roger 16.8.2010


No words can ever
express the depths of pain
that struck
five years ago
this very day

an elderly man
who meant so much
to so many
and showed such practical love
talking always from his heart
with that husky
instantly recognisable voice
was suddenly
robbed of life
by someone he was
trying to help

As he rests in peace
his legacy
living
lives on
as the Christ he served
still calls

and we
entering deeply the mystery
of the silence
he inhabited so effortlessly
find we are
called
to carry the torch
that dropped from
his dying hands

With hindsight we all have 20-20 vision!

As I consider what to write in my last ministers letter a line from the song “I was born under a wandering Star”(Lee Marvin 1970) is in my head.... “I haven't seen a sight that doesn't look better looking back!” With hindsight we can all have 20-20 vision!

As I look back over the ten years that I have been at this church I can see many things which now I can see as the will of God but at the time we were too close to see the wood for the trees. Often when we are going through a difficult or confusing time, we are unaware of how God is guiding us. When I’m in the middle of a crisis, it’s difficult to comprehend God's plan because my thoughts and emotions are in turmoil.  My mind is frantically working to find solutions, but all the while God is right there working things out!  Years later it may become clear why God brought us through that experience the way He did. The bible verse at Romans 8:28 “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” sounds very confident but when things are a muddle all round we may not feel at all confident in God.

William Willimon says, “I believe that providence can be discerned in this life, but usually only in the backward view, never in the forward. That is, it is difficult to speak of God's guiding in terms of what happens to us at this moment or what will happen to us tomorrow. But we are more able to discern the loving hand of God in that which has happened to us in the past. As Saint Augustine said, when you first consider your life, it looks like nothing but a bunch of chicken tracks in the mud of a farmyard, going this way and that. But through the eyes of faith, we begin to discern pattern, meaning, direction.  Providence.”

At some times in my life I have kept a journal. This is more than a diary and at times of turmoil or uncertainty it can be a way of organising your thoughts and helping you work things out. Sometimes if we write a diary or journal it can help us see all of the places where God is with us, and where God is working around us.  In writing it down so that we may see it more clearly,  we can develop our understanding rather than going over the same things again and again. If we learn to look using this as one tool to help us then perhaps we will begin to recognise God at work in the present.

As we look back we can all say “I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am if that hadn’t happened”

So with the date set for my final services I can look back over the last ten years and remember many happy times we have shared together. There have also been some times when we have exercised our Christian responsibility of care as we have supported each other. The church has grown and developed over that time – indeed churches are living organisms that only stand still when they are dead. Sadly some of the folks who were with us ten years ago are no longer with us but we rejoice that new people have come into the church. So I thank God for all the people here whose lives and words have shown me things about the love of God.

And I will continue to remember you all and pray for you and I hope you will remember me and pray for me too.

(This letter is in the current edition of the Grahamston United Church review)

Tread softly

"L'âme d'autrui est une forêt obscure où il faut marcher avec précaution."* - Claude Debussy
Yesterday I was asked to see a lady in a nursing home. When I had seen her previously I remembered her as a very smart, petite lady with her hair in neat, tight, grey curls and with the thin transparent skin of the very old. But yesterday she was lying on her bed, curled into a fetal position and crying. Deep silent sobs came with every other breath as she screwed her face up in a silent echo of some inner pain.
I took her hand in mine and talked softly. I read a psalm and said a prayer.
I stayed beside the bed for as long as I could and was aware the human contact seemed to bring her some relief. As I left she seemed to be a little more at peace. I felt I wanted to do more but what?
I was reminded yet again of the immense complexity of every person. None of us know the inner struggles and burdens that another carries within them. It is a warning too that even the most sensitive and aware people can do untold harm by blundering around in the inner life of others.


* "the soul of another is a dark forest where you must walk with care"

Intercessory prayer as metaphorically walking round the garden (A sort of meditation)

Recently, as I was working in the garden, it came to me that walking round a garden can help our intercessory prayer.

There is lawn – a place of little interest but where everything happens – where children play and grown ups sit. In the same way there are many ordinary places which do not look much but are vital for our lives, our recreation and our health. We thank God for those places where things are always happening in the busyness and ordinariness of life

There are flower beds and borders – places that look very pretty yet hide the amount of work needed to keep them looking wonderful. So we pray for all those who work behind the scenes in our society to keep the wheels of life turning so that all we take for granted runs efficiently.

There is often a place of disaster – where nothing will grow or where mice and slugs have eaten what was planted and all the hard work seems wasted – places where the soil is infertile or a heavy useless clay. So we pray for the places where life is hard where people are struggling to make a life for themselves against the odds. (The floods in Pakistan are the latest example of human life being shown in all its vulnerability against the forces of nature) We pray for people facing hardship and danger in their everyday lives and that we and others may find ways to help them. There are people we know who find life a struggle against the odds through illness or circumstance and we remember them and pray for them.

The is a compost heap – an unpleasant smelly place which is nevertheless essential for the life of the whole. We pray for the parts of life that are unpleasant and which people usually ignore but which are essential for the balance of nature.

There is the vegetable bed – where plants are grown for what they can provide for the table so we pray for all those involved in production of the essentials of life such as food and water. We remember that what we take for granted is a luxury in other parts of the world.

There are weeds and pests – things that we don't want around, that ruin the nice things we try to do. So it is in our world: there is so much that makes us often feel our efforts are overwhelmed. We work to build things in a new way and find that there are those who get pleasure by destroying the good things that people do. Help us not to get discouraged by this and continue to work for justice, peace and sharing and the coming of Gods kingdom in the world

And there is the shed where the tools are kept – a place of quiet order – equipping us for service. So we pray for those who serve others, those who lead and those who administer that they may act fairly and for the common good.

The garden is a place where we go to relax. So we pray for the times we have to recover and recharge our batteries. We remember all those who are away on holiday at present preparing themselves for the busyness of the autumn.

That the garden is a microcosm of our world, a place of beauty and a place of utility, a place of order and a place of chaos, but most of all a place to both work and play.

We bring all these aspects of our lives, our society our church and our world to God in prayer in the name of Jesus.. Amen